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AWARD WINNER DA first of 2005 (March, 2005) Me thinks, me thinks, me thinks…Yep, that’s it. It was a sunny day, it was a street party, it was attended by lots and lots and lots of NBYC’ers. It was fellowship, it was “piging out”, it was drinking and drinking and drinking. It was boys using their favorite trees and girls using the infamous Sherill’s Hide-A-Way with a flap, toilet seat and paper! It was beads, it was moon pies, it was Pat and Linda elbowing each other out the way. It was floats, it was marching bands, and regretfully, it was not the Beach but it made for a fine first outing. With one notable exception. He who “BEGGED” to have a meeting early and one late so he could be present. He who accepted the leadership role and promised to take us into unchartered waters. He who partied hearty the night before, but promised he would be at the parade as the COMMODORE the next day. He who turned off his cell phone to prevent the “nagging” he knew was coming. He who “boyishly” told us in the newsletter -- it’s the blond’s fault, it’s Dano’s fault, it’s the deployment’s fault. I “Theorized” for several days to see if he was really deserving of the 1st DA of ’05, for not being at the Mardi Gras… a resounding “No” was what came to my thoughts. He missed a great party which may qualify him for being a “DA” ESPECIALLY since he is THE COMMODORE. But my fellow NBYC’ers, I must nominate him for 2005’s First DA for bringing it up in the newsletter and reminding everyone of his failure to show. Let’s face it, we all have lost lots of brain cells over the year’s so our memories ain’t the best. But when the Commodore who not only doesn’t show at the first outing but then boasts about it and blames everyone else in writing … well, in my log, he more than deserves the DA birgy.
Basic Truths: The Captain is Always Responsible. The mate and crew are a sly and cunning bunch, and bear watching at all times. Water under the boat is good. Water over the boat is bad. In the last ten years, our members have done many exceptional nautical feats. We have lost anchors, props, keys, glasses, and the ability to walk and talk. We have run aground bow first, stern first, and sideways. We have fallen on boats and docks, fallen off boats and docks, fallen off boats onto docks, and fallen off docks onto boats into the water. And we’ve had a few alcohol related incidents. Such feats have gone unrewarded far too long. And
so, the DA Burgee. We are not out to humiliate, embarrass, or insult our fellow
captains, members, and friends. Oh no! This is an opportunity to learn! And, of
course, the awardee gets to fly the DA Burgee, until relieved by another member
being so honored. And no member will ever be awarded the DA Burgee
posthumously!!
At
the Ft McRee outing, Capt Toby arrived with his mate Linda. A beautiful day,
smooth run, good times to be had. No problems. Unless, you count the fact that
he’d left his cooler filled with his favorite nautical beverage sitting on the
dock!! Crisis at Sea was only averted by quick response of fellow members, who
supplied Capt Toby with bever-ages at an exorbitant fee.
On Memorial Day weekend, there was an impromptu outing at Dano’s Landing. Many members came by boat. Tommy P. brought a keg. A good time was had by all. Scotty tied up to the dock on the downwind side. He threw out a little anchor, downwind, just to keep the boat off the dock. When Scotty got ready to leave, Tommy rushed down the dock to help him. No problem. Just start the engine, untie the lines, drift off the dock, and pickup the little anchor. Right?????? Kersplash!!!!!! Tommy has leapt off the dock. What the Hell ??????? He claimed he had to go in to retrieve the little anchor. Duh???? After long, sober contemplation, the real cause for Tommy’s action was determined. *For Failure to Use an Approved Marine Sanitation De-vice. Captain Tommy is awarded the DA Burgee.*
Lord Nelson
said at the Battle of Trafalgar "England expects every man to do his duty". John
Paul Jones said while battling the Serapis "I have not yet begun to fight". And
Admiral Farragut is famous in the Battle of Mobile Bay for "Damn the torpedoes!
Full speed AHEAD!!". At the Italian Fleet Landing, the NBYC was given a
similar display of a Captain's grim determination and a willingness to put his
vessel "in harm's way."
Our Captain sailed out for the local 4th of July fireworks display. It was one mile from the dock to the fireworks display. It was one mile back to the dock, but it was now dark. The intercoastal waterway is well marked with channel markers, some lighted. Wx was great. No Problems, Right? Because we have the technology.......... Our Captain, one of our most capable and experienced, has sailed our local waters for years. But he won’t rely on just his vast experience. Oh No! He has incorporated the new technology of our age into his vessel. He has not one, not two, but three GPS monitors at his helm station. He has not one but two GPS chartplotters, one in his laptop, complete with a mouse. He has not one, not two, but three high-powered spotlights for use at night. And, he has all his vast experience in our local waters. Sooooooo, When his laptop chartplotter starts acting up, does he fall back on all his local experience and watch the channel markers? Or does he shift his reference to the other chartplotter? Or, does he grab his mouse and start playing with his laptop computer? Remember, a vessel in motion.... heading is a variable...?? It was the sound and feel of a large boat’s bottom meeting the sandy bottom of the sound that caused our Captain to stop playing with his mouse, look outside, and resume steering his vessel. But, where was he? He needs to see a channel marker. But it’s dark. Hey? Where’s his spotlights???? “Mate!” our Captain bellows. “Fetch me a spotlight.” The Mate, well trained, fetches a spotlight, plugs it in, but Alas, the connector is corroded. No light. “Fetch me another!” our Captain bellows. And the Mate fetches the rechargeable spotlight, but Alas, it hasn’t been recharged. No light. “Fetch me another!” our Captain bellows. And the Mate fetches the third spotlight, which illuminates ½ mile, then ¼ mile, then the bow, then goes out. Bad batteries. No light. Our Captain’s experience brings to mind a old sea chantey, that goes something like this: “...If not for the spirit of its fearless crew, the Hippo would be lost, the Hippo would be lost. Now the ship’s aground on a shore of this, a charted.......” For Failure to keep his Equipment Seaworthy and for Playing with his Mouse when he ought to be steering his boat, the August DA Award is presented to Captain Bill and the Hippokampos.
How about that, of all the Captains in the Navarre Beach Yacht Club none of you stepped up and confessed to any miss deeds (or were CAUGHT). Well I guess that means one of two things; either you were all good little Captains OR your sly, cunning, deviate behavior allowed you to squeak by our panel of esteemed judges (this being the truth I believe). For the month of September the coveted NBYC DA Award will remain in its "Golden Sea Locker" awaiting the next worthy Captain.
Julius Caesar had his Brutus. George Washington had his Benedict Arnold. Capt Bligh had his Mr Christian. And your Commodore has the entire NBYC membership. It’s a sad day indeed when your Commodore is awarded the DA Award. The facts: At the impromptu outing at Paradise Point on 21 Sept, your Commodore and his new pontoon boat “Argo2oon” shuttling folks to and from the dock. Suddenly, a massive and torrential thunderstorm moved in. After heroically running the crew of the Hippokampus out to their boat, the Commodore returned to shore and quickly tied up to the dock. Then sought shelter. And there, the mystery begins. After the storm passed, it was discovered that the Argo2oon’s engine was running and was still in gear!! How could such a thing happen?? Well, the truth is, I left the engine running to put time on it for its 20 hour check.... Well, the truth is, the damn boat is possessed by gremlins and it started itself.... Well, the truth is, somebody snuck on board during the storm and started it.... Or, the truth is, I just plain screwed up and got caught. For being the Commodore of the NBYC (a pack of mutinous scoundrels with all the qualities of a dog except loyalty) and for Not Performing a Securing the Vessel Checklist, the October DA Award is presented to, Commodore Dano of the Argo2oon. (Bill, are you almost even now?) And Now, the FEB 2003 DA Award: The first weekend of February, there was an impromptu at Spectre Island. Drinks and talk were had and after dark, a fire was built. Drinks and talk continued. The Vice Commodore went to his boat to put up his canvas. Our Captain’s boat was next to the Vice. Our Vice tells the tale.... The Hooker Ballet of Our Captain began. The Beer and Crown began their head dance. After not being able to walk Up the Plank put between his neighboring boat and the shore, he “clawed” his way onto the neighbors boat and tried to cross over from one to the other, using the swim platforms on the back of each boat. ”We must always remember these boats have outdrives with hard castings and sharp props.” This is why the Aerial Ballet began. One-winged Seagulls have more grace. With arms, hands, legs, butt, and feet flying from side to side and up and down, Our Captain was back in the water. This time, ignoring the plank, he went for his own swim platform (with a stagger here and a stagger there, here a stagger, there a stagger, staggers everywhere). Then, had it not been for the courage of his fearless crew, Our Captain surely would be lost, yes surely would be lost. As Our soaked and humbled Captain teetered on his swim platform, his Mate’s command voice ordered “Just stand there and take off your clothes!” Our Vice averted his eyes so he wouldn’t have nightmares. The Mate then took full command and ordered Our Captain into the shower, cuz “He couldn’t fall down in there!” There was also a rumor of a fire dive. For Failure to Successfully Walk the Plank and Display of an Aerial Ballet while Traversing from Boat to Boat and Just Plain Having Too Much Fun, the 1st DA Burgee for 2003 is awarded to Captain Larry A., NBYC Power Boater At Large Fleet Captain. It’s going to be another Great Year of NBYC Boating!!! And now, presenting... A joy of boating is visiting exotic locations by sea. You want fond memories of places you visited. You don’t want those places remembering your visit by the level of destruction you leave behind. Our Captain had a string of bad luck with docks. Specifically, backing into docks. A boat is a movable object on later. Docks and pilings are immovable objects on water, usually. At the Butt Roast, our Captain disproved this theory when he backed into a slip at “ramming speed”. Two members were on the dock to help him tie up. When the people on a dock scream and run, it is a clue that something is amiss, and should not be a part of your docking plan. A good docking plan is to have your lines ready and to tie up to the pilings as you back in. A bad plan is to listen for screams, then cut your engines, ram the dock, race to find lines, and snag a piling as your boat bounces out of the slip. But, Our Captain has decided that his novel docking technique works for him. His using the screams of people on the dock as a clue for throttle control has been tried on the Quietwater dock and at Juana’s. You will notice a very large and immovable piling, at Juana’s, has been moved by our Captain. More precisely, broken off. A word of caution to all our other Captains. It is possible that our Captain may apply this novel technique in all backing situations. Other boats and the screams of their crews may be used if no dock is available. See and Avoid doesn’t really apply here. So, if you see our Captain’s stern headed your way: Scream Loud, Scream Early!! For Repeated Demonstrations of Ramming Speed while Backing into, onto, over, and thru Docks and Pilings and for leaving a Trail of Terror and Destruction along the Sound, not seen since Hurricane Opal, Captain Jim M of Mistress is awarded the coveted NBYC DA Burgee in June 2003.
“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip. That started from this tropic port, Aboard this tiny ship.” This is a tale about two of Our Captains, for they Share Command of their Vessel, with Neither being the Mate. For instance, when underway, he drives. When docking, she drives. You could call it a Split Command Concept of Boating. Our two experienced Captains went on the Panama City Voyage. The split command concept worked well and the trip over was enjoyable and uneventful. But Remember, the Captain is Always Responsible for his vessel. And here the tale becomes confused because neither of our Captains claims to be Responsible for what occurred once they were Docked. It was a complete breakdown in the Split Command concept of boating. What occurred at the dock? Their vessel has three deck plates for three separate tanks. One for freshwater, one for holding waste, and one for fuel. A non-crewmember on the dock offered to help them refuel. One Captain handed him the key to the deck plates. The other Captain handed him the fuel hose. Then Neither of Our Captains paid attention to his refueling of Their vessel until he said, “Gee, you only needed 14 gals of gas.” It is fortunate neither of Our Captains were on the Head smoking a cigarette. For yes, Their 14 gal, freshly pumped out, waste holding tank was now full of gas. I will not explain how our Captains got the gas out of the holding tank. “Good taste” prevents me. But, Can you envision a length of garden hose and trying to suck start a siphon? When ready for the return trip, Our two Captains had another problem while docked. Should they leave before the big storm hits, leave after the big storm passes, or leave just as the big storm hits? Hmmm. Time for another Command Decision. OOPS! Leaving the dock just as the big storm hit was a bad decision. Chaos, collisions with docked boats, and again claims of Not being responsible by both of our Captains. For Using the Split Command Concept of Boating, where the OTHER Captain is Always Responsible; For Failing to Supervise the Refueling of their Vessel; For Lousy Timing Leaving the Dock; and For Giving us Nightmares about a Siphon Hose; Captain Kevin and Captain Christi O’Leary of the Sanity Check are awarded the prestigious NBYC DA Award for August 2003. Be safe out there. And don’t forget we’re here to have fun, too!!
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